(Above photo:- Cornish 'Feejee' Mermaid specimen ‘Apocryphal fallacious’ from my own private collection of Witchcraft Artefacts & Folklore Objects)
Some days are just very, very ‘strange’
…Or “How I got from Cornish Mermaids, via ‘Duck Cocks’ to the ‘Icelandic Penis Museum”!
So there I was innocently researching information about Cornish Mermaids (of which in Cornish folklore & legend there have been quite a few ie; Zennor, Seaton, Padstow & Lamorna). This for an article I was writing about C19th PT Barnum’s infamous Feejee (or Fiji) Mermaid hoax and my own personal example of a cryptozoology specimen of a Cornish mermaid, when…
Well, you know how it is with the internet; you start innocently at ‘X’ and before long through various innocuous & perfectly innocent well intentioned links you end up with ‘KY’ (lube pun intended).
One of the articles I read about Mermaids, a few mentioned the male Mermen having no sexual organs. Well I thought, neither do sea mammals like whales & dolphins ‘externally visibly’, but somewhere in my ecliptic mind, I recalled something about whales having the largest penis in the animal world. So, off I bimbled about on the WWW to look up the largest penis in the world
...which as it happens is the Blue Whale coming in at eye watering various estimate of between 8ft & 16ft long!
The question being, since the full measure of a whales ‘sholng’ could only be measured whilst (a) alive & (b) whilst sexually aroused, who in their right mind is going to go paddling armed with an expanding ruler to measure up a sexual horny beastie waving around a lump of meat longer than your average family saloon car?
I drifted into more internet info about the volume of semen said to be ejaculated by a Blue Whale with estimates up too 400 gallons a shot…and the speculation as to ‘Why’ the sea tastes salty! 400 gallons is more than the volume of tepid liquid in an average Jacuzzi, but where as the saltiness of the sea could not possibly be caused by sperm ejaculated into the oceans...errr, the same could not be said for cause of the saltiness of the water in the average hot tub, Owerrr!
There was various speculation that the size of the testicles of a Blue Whale, although impressive weighing in at around 25 pounds apiece could in no way produce that much ‘Jiz’ in one, err, go!?
I thought all the information was boullucs & a bit fishy despite the information of yet another comparison, stating that the southern right whale -- which has testicles even larger than the blue whale's, weighing in a half-a-ton apiece -- produces around 5 gallons of ejaculate in a single mating session.
Begging the question ‘who in their right mind puts on a rubber suit & measures these statistics?’
Personally, some of the biggest pricks I have encountered are not those of the ‘blue’ whale but DO wear ‘blue’ uniforms, but that’s another story already well documented on this blog.
My mind wandered from that onto a joke about scientific research & a diuretic incontinent elephant & the poor monkey trained to put the cork back...but yet another story for another day.
The good news is I discovered that amongst all the ape & primate species ‘Man’ comes in with the proportionately largest dick. Gorillas, despite being pretty big hairy beasties, apparently they have a really quite small penis no thicker or longer than a pencil. So, you could really insult some one by saying they are hung like a gorilla, lol.
Having said that ‘dick size’ (I’m personally pleased to have reconfirmed) has nothing to do with sexual activity or ability to perform, either in the human, ape or primate world. Apparently it has been proved that bonobo (which is also wrongly named "dwarf chimpanzee") has more sex, more often and much more varied than human beings (BONOBO having sex with both males & females & right across the age range, no gender or ageist discrimination amongst the Bonobo then) - but about bonobo penis size….. nah, they got little dicks!
So ‘what’ has got the biggest dick in the world?
Well the longest proportionate to body size is apparently a ‘duck!
The Argentine Blue-bill or Argentine Lake Duck (Oxyura vittata) is a small South American stiff duck. No, seriously, it’s called a stiff duck. What is weird is that most birds do not even have a penis, except ostriches (and related groups, like kiwi and tinamous), ducks, geese and swans.
Bird penis in flaccid state are curled up inside the body. Well, a specimen of Argentine blue-bill duck had a remarkable 42.5 cm (17 inches) long penis (the average length of this species is apparently 20 cm (8 inches))! The flaccid penis is coiled, but fully erect is twice the size of the bird: That is like a human male having a 3.5 m (12 feet) penis... which brings us back to whale cock length!
The leap to The Icelandic Phallological Museum (Icelandic: Hið Íslenzka Reðasafn) in Husavik, Iceland (formerly in Reykjavik) a museum devoted to phallology or simple put, the collecting of ‘cocks’, was a relatively short internet right of penis passage.
As of July 2006, the museum houses 245 specimens of penis displayed. The museum attempts to collect penis specimens from every mammal in Iceland.
For Gods sake...Why?
Sigurður Hjartarson, a former teacher of history at an institute in Reykjavík, is the founder and current director of the museum, which also exhibits a few specimens from mammals not living in Iceland, as well as folkloric or cryptozoology specimens (alleged elves, trolls, sea monsters,… inc mermaids? ).
(Above photo: One of my own cryptozoological specimens of a Cornish 'Feejee' Mermaid ‘Apocryphal fallacious’ from my own personal private collection of witchcraft artefacts & Folklore objects)
Bringing me right back to where I started...do the male version of Mermaids, ‘Mermen’ have, Oh please, let’s not start again.
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